Terminal decline

12:00 am Travel

Airports wouldn’t be so bad, if they had comfy seats, sensibly-priced food, something to neutralise the overwhelming odour of duty-free perfume, a “Tax-Free” Dixons that manages to charge more for everything than a fully-taxed on-line retailer, air conditioning that worked and fewer people. A lot fewer. If it was just me here that’d be good.

At least these days the zombie-like limb-dragging shuffle of technology has brought us departure lounge WiFi so we can while away a few minutes moaning at an innocent web site. Small compensation, but I’ll take what I can get.

Of course, if I hadn’t arrived so early I wouldn’t have to hang around so much, but what with having to cross most of the country to get here I like to play safe. Besides, arrive early and there’s a short queue at check-in. The downside is that if you check in half a day before your flight leaves the staff immediately (and, to be fair, correctly) identify you as A Man In No Particular Hurry and empty all you bags out in the interests of security. At least, I assume that’s what they’re doing. For all I know US Immigration might now insist that all visitors have at least five pairs of clean underpants or something.

Ooh, a gate. Best be off then…

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